A client recently asked the following question:
Is there a correlation between clutter and being unable to receive? For example my desk ends up cluttered by the end of each week as I get busier and I’m wondering if that would affect my receptive channels? Does clutter stop me from reaching my goals?
Here is my answer:
Clutter clogs. Clutter in your environment or even in your mind prevents energy, ideas, inspiration, feelings, and even people (to name only a few) from getting through to you.
Clutter interferes. Too many belongings in your living space, people who are no longer a match for who you are today, or mental debris that causes you to loop around the same familiar worries and thoughts, can easily lead to stagnation, inertia, and simply feeling stuck.
Clutter distracts. It’s no surprise that many of us fill our living space with objects and fill our days with activities, as we live in a culture that places a high value on accumulation and busyness. Isn’t there always somewhere higher to go, more places and people to see, more things to buy or at least to occupy us? I call this multitasking mayhem.
It’s hard to imagine, but until the mid-1960s people regularly threw their trash on the street and no one thought anything of it. Ashtrays emptied onto the road by drivers waiting at a red light or a bag of fast-food leftovers pitched out of a car traveling on the highway didn’t cause a ruckus or even a raised eyebrow from anyone. These days, people encounter not only raised eyebrows, they also receive a fine.
While no one is going to give you a ticket for not picking up your stuff at home or cleaning out your car, littered environments interfere with daily functioning, state of mind and ultimately affect your decisions.
Have you ever said to yourself: “I can’t hear myself think! There’s too much noise, distraction, stuff to step over, too many ideas, thoughts, projects to complete, people to see, places to go” —that’s your cue to reduce clutter.
When you clear out your physical space, you open up your inner space. That spaciousness calms your nervous system, expands your awareness, and allow ideas and energy to flow toward you.
Here is a lovely quote by William Morris to inspire you to clear out clutter: “Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”
When my life gets blurry with multiple tasks, projects to complete and people to see, I remember the first stanza of this beautiful poem and “I go among the trees and sit still.”
“It’s never crowded in the last mile,” is one of my favorite sayings because it speaks to the importance of tenacity. We admire the individual who never gives up and reaches the finish line. Many of us wish we had more of this trait and did not become discouraged by obstacles or set-backs. We know that to be successful in life, we must be disciplined and persevere.
An equally important, yet little recognized skill, is the act of receiving. When giving your all is not balanced with receiving from others, the inevitable result is to end up exhausted and discouraged, which is not a good frame of mind to be in when you are trying to achieve your goals!
The idea that receiving offers a pathway to the fulfilment of personal and professional goals may not be a concept that has crossed your mind for we have not grown up in a culture that teaches us this valuable skill. We don’t even have a vocabulary for receiving. Has anybody ever heard someone say, “Wow! Look at that person—what a great receiver!”
Even though every giver has a receiver—there is a recipient for every act of giving—the giver is elevated and celebrated in our culture, while the receiver is almost wholly unknown. Most of us are familiar with the maxim, “It is better to give than receive.” Giving is important and should be encouraged. But we can’t be the giver all of the time. Sometimes we are the receiver and how we receive is just as important as how we give.
I believe the lack of understanding about the role of the receiver contributes to the current multitasking epidemic as people try to achieve their aims by piling pile upon task after task. I call it multitasking mayhem.
If you spend one week paying attention to the balance between your giving and receiving, you will be amazed by how often you turn away what people try to give to you. Here are ideas to get you started:
5 Ways to Replenish, Refuel, and Receive
• Accept offers of help. Just like you put gas in the car so it will run and eat food for energy fuel, let people replenish your reserves by giving to you.
• Don’t try to do it all. Ask people to do their fair share at home and at work. Let someone else return the library books, walk the dog, or take care of a work assignment.
• Learn how to say “no.” If you do not honor your boundaries, others won’t either.
• Take time to smell the roses. Take a break and go outside. Breathe deeply, watch the clouds, and listen to the birds.
• Pause, watch, and notice the results of what you set in motion by your activities, and you will learn important information that will help you.
Make a commitment to receive something every day, whether you accept a compliment, welcome an offer of help, or notice something beautiful in your environment. You will not only feel healthier in mind, body and spirit, you will also have a better chance of achieving your personal and professional goals.
I wrote about the importance of developing intuition in my last book, Born to Receive.
I’ve ended up thinking a lot about this topic since I’ve been working on a new book, How to Be Safe: What Every Woman Needs to Know to Thrive in the 21st Century.
In Born to Receive, I shared an event that happened to me when I was robbed at gunpoint by two men in New York City.
Although my intuition told me that I should not let them follow me into my apartment building, I ignored that little voice.
I’ve had conversations with many people since that time who also ignored their intuition and ended up in a dangerous situation.
I will be blogging about my new book in the months ahead. But first, here is an excerpt from Born to Receive:
The Role of Intuition
When you drill down into a feeling, logic helps you connect a situation or person to how you feel. Intuition is different. It’s a feeling that you can’t explain. Intuition is when you get a hunch, a vibe, or a premonition that doesn’t make logical sense. Intuition is often present in those decisions that turn your life in a positive direction such as a hunch to take a certain job, or move to a new area, or contact a particular person.
Intuition is also at work when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you are in the presence of someone who otherwise seems perfectly nice. It’s at work when you walk into a room and feel like you need to get out. But if anybody asked you why, you would be hard-pressed to explain your reason.
Many of us are very good at tending to people’s needs and helping them to feel comfortable. This gift can put us in a difficult position if our intuition tells us that someone is bad news. A lot of us don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Have you ever overridden your natural instinct for survival by doing any of the following?
- Have you stepped into an elevator with a man you didn’t know because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel uncomfortable?
- Have you ever stayed in a relationship even though you feared your partner may hurt or even kill you?
- Have you ever remained in a relationship with someone who emotionally, verbally, or physically abused you?
- Have you ever gotten into a car with someone who made you nervous?
Gavin De Becker, a leading expert on violent behavior, listed thirty pre-indicators of violence and murder in his book The Gift of Fear. Here’s number one: The woman has an intuitive feeling that she is at risk.
Your intuition is one of your most valuable gifts. If you practice paying attention to those hunches, vibes, and sixth-sense feelings, you will become skilled at being able to read people and situations accurately. That, in turn, will help you make positive changes in your life.
To support you with your Receive Practice and help you reach your goals, I am offering a Receive Support Tele-Class
4 pm Pacific, 4 pm Arizona, 5 pm Mountain, 6 pm Central, 7 pm Eastern
It’s 1 1/2 hours and costs $35
This support class includes weekly emails throughout July with receive exercises, inspiration, and answers to your questions.
Details here: RECEIVE SUPPORT
Starts March 17, 2015
Each class is two hours and runs for three Tuesdays in March and the first two Tuesdays in April
3:00 pm Pacific Time, 4 pm Mountain Time, 5 pm Central Time, 6 pm Eastern Time
More information here: Receive
For the past decade I have been conducting classes and workshops applying the concepts of receiving, which includes specific work on formulating and meeting life goals. The basic premise is this:
A huge connection exists between what you are able to receive and what you actually get.
You may have never thought about receiving as healthy and positive, however the results of not knowing how to receive include the following:
• Emotionally you feel unappreciated.
• Physically you feel exhausted.
• Mentally you feel resentful.
• Spiritually you feel depleted.
It’s like you have a gate that only swings one way and all that you give doesn’t bring anything back to you because the gate doesn’t open toward you – only away from you.
Over the years I have witnessed participants of the Receive course get phenomenal results. This is what the course provides:
1. A Receive Workbook Journal to use during the class and throughout the year.
2. Help in clarifying your goals.
3. Exercises that produce extraordinary results.
4. Personal attention from me to help you take your goal from inception to completion.
5. A support group to cheer you on.
6. Manifestation of your goals (see Testimonials)
Is this course appropriate for you? Ask yourself the following questions:
• Is there something you want that you’re not getting?
• Do you even know what you want?
• Do you feel ready to make a significant change in your life?
• Are you tired of having the same old complaints about situations that never change?
• Could you use a support group to help you stay on course?
Let me know by email if you have questions or would like to participate: amanda@AmandaOwen.com
Amanda Owen is the author of The Power of Receiving and Born to Receive. With a background in social work and a twenty-five year practice as a counselor, Amanda has been presenting lectures and workshops since the mid-eighties.
N.Y. Times best-selling author Christiane Northrup, MD calls Amanda’s power-of-receiving philosophy “brilliant, elegant, profound, and enormously practical,” Maria Shriver calls her work “insightful,” and Elaine Shamos, the Director of The Women’s Health Resource Center at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center says “Amanda’s presentation skills are outstanding and, most importantly, her message is life-changing.”
More information here: Receive
You Were Born to Receive: 7 Steps to a Life of Energy, Passion, and Purpose
Are you better at giving than receiving? Do you know how to help others get what they want but don’t know what you want? Join me at Esalen in Big Sur, California where I will work with you to help you achieve your goals, reduce stress, and create greater happiness by tapping into your receptive power.
I’ve been researching the benefits of receiving for two decades and am looking forward to leading you through powerful exercises and guiding you through your own personal journey of transformation. Find out more here: Born to Receive: 7 Steps to a Life of Energy, Passion, and Purpose.
You may know what other people want and even help them get it. But do you know what you want? Skilled Receivers know what they want because they are able to read people, the environment, and their own feelings to find clues about their next step.
I am going to review the Top 10 Features of Skilled Receivers in this post. But first I want to tell you about my new chapter and my new “Amanda Owen Author” Facebook page, which I hope you will “Like.”
Here is the link https://www.facebook.com/AmandaOwenAuthor
I am currently writing a new book tentatively titled How To Be Safe: What Every Woman Needs to Know to Survive and Thrive in the 21st Century.
My Power of Receiving Facebook page is devoted to information based on my last two books, “The Power of Receiving” and “Born to Receive.” From now on I will be posting mostly on my new FB page, which will include posts about the power and importance of receiving.
It will also include information about my writing process and progress as well as information involving my research for “How To Be Safe.” Plus, I will be posting information about products, technology, and legislation that addresses women’s safety, as well as share information from other people, organizations, and writers.
“Like” my new page if you would to be kept in the loop about my progress, and please share what you know. Tell me about organizations that are helping women.
And now here is a review of The Top 10 Features of Skilled Receivers
1. Receivers know how to accept a compliment graciously and are genuinely pleased to receive it.
2. Receivers regularly express gratitude.
3. Receivers attention is on the present rather than dwelling on the past or fretting about the future.
4. Receivers are good listeners.
5. Receivers are observant.
6. Receivers define a “good person” as a whole person rather than as someone who places other people’s needs above their own.
7. Receivers do not enable people.
8. Receivers know when to cease activity and listen or ask for guidance.
9. Receivers utilize data in their environment to help them make decisions.
10. Receivers don’t complain.
Join me in Tucson, Arizona where I am giving a workshop “The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Achieving Your Personal and Professional Goals” on October 12th from 1:30 to 3:30 pm for the Center for Spiritual Living Tucson.
Until then, here are 7 goal-writing tips that will help you achieve your goals:
Most of us have been taught that if you want something, you should go after it. And it’s true that without initiative and activity, you will have a hard time accomplishing much of anything. But have you ever wondered what your goal wants from you?
If you think of your goal as checking you out to see if you are a good fit, it makes sense that being attractive to your goal is just as important as concentrating on what you want.
1. Write Down Only One Goal
The reason that I advise starting with only one goal is so that you can give it your undivided attention. Many, many goals never get enough umph to manifest simply because too little attention is paid to them. If you focus on several goals at the same time, it’s a bit like double-dating. Can you blame a goal for feeling lukewarm about you or wanting to find someone else—someone who will appreciate it and give it lots of attention?
2. Write Down Your Goal in One Sentence
Writing your goal in one sentence forces you to be clear about what you want. People love it when you are concise. Nobody likes to play guessing games or to be held hostage listening to a long rambling list of requests or demands! It’s the same with your goal. So make sure your sentence is specific and concise.
3. Give Your Goal a Time Frame
Deadlines give you something to aim for whether you are training for a marathon, planning a wedding or finishing a work project. A goal is more likely to spring into action when it has ten days to deliver than if it has an unlimited amount of time to get it done.
4. Your Goal Should Be Simple and Specific
The more specific you are, the more your goal has to work with. This is true for any conversation or any relationship. But too much information up front can be a bit arduous for your goal. If you are on a first date, for example, and your date presents a long list of requirements that include specifics about love-making ability, plans for children and salary must-haves, would you think twice about seeing that person again?
5. Don’t Get Hung Up on How Your Goal Is Worded
If it’s not spelled correctly or the grammar is incorrect and you have a double negative in your sentence, don’t worry about it unless your goal is to be an English teacher. Just start the process.
6. Your Goal Should Be Measurable
You need to know when you have actually achieved your goal. For example, if your goal is to get a job, you will know whether you have a job or you don’t. If your goal is to be happy or to feel good, ask yourself how you will know that you have reached your goal.
7. Don’t Limit Yourself
Don’t decide ahead of time that your goal is unrealistic. Write exactly what you want. You are starting a relationship with your goal. You and the goal will work out some of the finer details as you get to know one another.
Once you write your goal down, set it aside. You are now in a relationship with your goal. Be a good partner; be kind and considerate. Listen carefully so that you can receive what your goal is saying to you. What does your goal want from you?