Exhausted? 5 Ways to Replenish, Refuel and Receive

Breathe in ...  breathe out“It’s never crowded in the last mile,” is one of my favorite sayings because it speaks to the importance of tenacity. We admire the individual who never gives up and reaches the finish line. Many of us wish we had more of this trait and did not become discouraged by obstacles or set-backs. We know that to be successful in life, we must be disciplined and persevere.

An equally important, yet little recognized skill, is the act of receiving. When giving your all is not balanced with receiving from others, the inevitable result is to end up exhausted and discouraged, which is not a good frame of mind to be in when you are trying to achieve your goals!

The idea that receiving offers a pathway to the fulfilment of personal and professional goals may not be a concept that has crossed your mind for we have not grown up in a culture that teaches us this valuable skill. We don’t even have a vocabulary for receiving. Has anybody ever heard someone say, “Wow! Look at that person—what a great receiver!”

Even though every giver has a receiver—there is a recipient for every act of giving—the giver is elevated and celebrated in our culture, while the receiver is almost wholly unknown. Most of us are familiar with the maxim, “It is better to give than receive.” Giving is important and should be encouraged. But we can’t be the giver all of the time. Sometimes we are the receiver and how we receive is just as important as how we give.

I believe the lack of understanding about the role of the receiver contributes to the current multitasking epidemic as people try to achieve their aims by piling pile upon task after task. I call it multitasking mayhem.

If you spend one week paying attention to the balance between your giving and receiving, you will be amazed by how often you turn away what people try to give to you. Here are ideas to get you started:

5 Ways to Replenish, Refuel, and Receive
• Accept offers of help. Just like you put gas in the car so it will run and eat food for energy fuel, let people replenish your reserves by giving to you.
• Don’t try to do it all. Ask people to do their fair share at home and at work. Let someone else return the library books, walk the dog, or take care of a work assignment.
• Learn how to say “no.” If you do not honor your boundaries, others won’t either.
• Take time to smell the roses. Take a break and go outside. Breathe deeply, watch the clouds, and listen to the birds.
• Pause, watch, and notice the results of what you set in motion by your activities, and you will learn important information that will help you.

Make a commitment to receive something every day, whether you accept a compliment, welcome an offer of help, or notice something beautiful in your environment. You will not only feel healthier in mind, body and spirit, you will also have a better chance of achieving your personal and professional goals.

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Pay Attention to Your Intuition

Your Intuition

I wrote about the importance of developing intuition in my last book, Born to Receive.

I’ve ended up thinking a lot about this topic since I’ve been working on a new book, How to Be Safe: What Every Woman Needs to Know to Thrive in the 21st Century.

In Born to Receive, I shared an event that happened to me when I was robbed at gunpoint by two men in New York City.

Although my intuition told me that I should not let them follow me into my apartment building, I ignored that little voice.

I’ve had conversations with many people since that time who also ignored their intuition and ended up in a dangerous situation.

I will be blogging about my new book in the months ahead. But first, here is an excerpt from Born to Receive:

The Role of Intuition

When you drill down into a feeling, logic helps you connect a situation or person to how you feel. Intuition is different. It’s a feeling that you can’t explain. Intuition is when you get a hunch, a vibe, or a premonition that doesn’t make logical sense. Intuition is often present in those decisions that turn your life in a positive direction such as a hunch to take a certain job, or move to a new area, or contact a particular person.

Intuition is also at work when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you are in the presence of someone who otherwise seems perfectly nice. It’s at work when you walk into a room and feel like you need to get out. But if anybody asked you why, you would be hard-pressed to explain your reason.

Many of us are very good at tending to people’s needs and helping them to feel comfortable. This gift can put us in a difficult position if our intuition tells us that someone is bad news. A lot of us don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Have you ever overridden your natural instinct for survival by doing any of the following?

  • Have you stepped into an elevator with a man you didn’t know because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel uncomfortable?
  • Have you ever stayed in a relationship even though you feared your partner may hurt or even kill you?
  • Have you ever remained in a relationship with someone who emotionally, verbally, or physically abused you?
  • Have you ever gotten into a car with someone who made you nervous?

Gavin De Becker, a leading expert on violent behavior, listed thirty pre-indicators of violence and murder in his book The Gift of Fear. Here’s number one: The woman has an intuitive feeling that she is at risk.

Your intuition is one of your most valuable gifts. If you practice paying attention to those hunches, vibes, and sixth-sense feelings, you will become skilled at being able to read people and situations accurately. That, in turn, will help you make positive changes in your life.

Join me in Big Sur, California at Esalen May 8 to 10, 2015

Esalen for blog

You Were Born to Receive: 7 Steps to a Life of Energy, Passion, and Purpose

Are you better at giving than receiving? Do you know how to help others get what they want but don’t know what you want? Join me at Esalen in Big Sur, California where I will work with you to help you achieve your goals, reduce stress, and create greater happiness by tapping into your receptive power.

I’ve been researching the benefits of receiving for two decades and am looking forward to leading you through powerful exercises and guiding you through your own personal journey of transformation. Find out more here: Born to Receive: 7 Steps to a Life of Energy, Passion, and Purpose.

Follow These 7 Goal-Writing Tips to Help You Achieve Your Dreams

The Power of ReceivingJoin me in Tucson, Arizona where I am giving a workshop “The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Achieving Your Personal and Professional Goals” on October 12th from 1:30 to 3:30 pm for the Center for Spiritual Living Tucson.

Until then, here are 7 goal-writing tips that will help you achieve your goals:

Most of us have been taught that if you want something, you should go after it. And it’s true that without initiative and activity, you will have a hard time accomplishing much of anything. But have you ever wondered what your goal wants from you?

If you think of your goal as checking you out to see if you are a good fit, it makes sense that being attractive to your goal is just as important as concentrating on what you want.

writing

1. Write Down Only One Goal
The reason that I advise starting with only one goal is so that you can give it your undivided attention. Many, many goals never get enough umph to manifest simply because too little attention is paid to them. If you focus on several goals at the same time, it’s a bit like double-dating. Can you blame a goal for feeling lukewarm about you or wanting to find someone else—someone who will appreciate it and give it lots of attention?

2. Write Down Your Goal in One Sentence
Writing your goal in one sentence forces you to be clear about what you want. People love it when you are concise. Nobody likes to play guessing games or to be held hostage listening to a long rambling list of requests or demands! It’s the same with your goal. So make sure your sentence is specific and concise.

3. Give Your Goal a Time Frame
Deadlines give you something to aim for whether you are training for a marathon, planning a wedding or finishing a work project. A goal is more likely to spring into action when it has ten days to deliver than if it has an unlimited amount of time to get it done.

4. Your Goal Should Be Simple and Specific
The more specific you are, the more your goal has to work with. This is true for any conversation or any relationship. But too much information up front can be a bit arduous for your goal. If you are on a first date, for example, and your date presents a long list of requirements that include specifics about love-making ability, plans for children and salary must-haves, would you think twice about seeing that person again?

5. Don’t Get Hung Up on How Your Goal Is Worded
If it’s not spelled correctly or the grammar is incorrect and you have a double negative in your sentence, don’t worry about it unless your goal is to be an English teacher. Just start the process.

6. Your Goal Should Be Measurable
You need to know when you have actually achieved your goal. For example, if your goal is to get a job, you will know whether you have a job or you don’t. If your goal is to be happy or to feel good, ask yourself how you will know that you have reached your goal.

7. Don’t Limit Yourself
Don’t decide ahead of time that your goal is unrealistic. Write exactly what you want. You are starting a relationship with your goal. You and the goal will work out some of the finer details as you get to know one another.

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Once you write your goal down, set it aside. You are now in a relationship with your goal. Be a good partner; be kind and considerate. Listen carefully so that you can receive what your goal is saying to you. What does your goal want from you?

Don’t Be So Available

Create a pathway for those you help to give backA friend told me recently about the miracle that occurred when she stopped being 100% available to her family members. Weeks before, she had complained about their lack of appreciation for all that she did for them.

Stop being so available, I said. Just go about your business. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t announce your intention. Just go on with your day and don’t let their requests and demands interrupt what you are doing – even if you are sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Just because you aren’t doing anything “important,” it doesn’t mean you are available to them.

I have a saying: The only possible match for someone who doesn’t know how to receive is someone who doesn’t know how to give.

When you over-give and over-do, you don’t create reciprocal relationships.

This is what my friend told me about what had happened: “First they were surprised, then they were upset, then they were considerate of me and respectful of my time. Now they ask what they can do for me!”

It will feel unnatural to stop being available when you are used to being on autopilot. But that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you get the relationships you want.

A Writer’s Best Friends: Creativity, Craft, and Connections

typewriterDo you feel vulnerable to cultural pressures that tell you to do more, try harder, and keep going when all you want is a nap and a snack?

Multitasking has become such an entrenched feature of modern living that many people think it is natural to be constantly busy. Our society is filled with stress junkies who are mentally frazzled, emotionally fragile, and physically depleted.

What does this have to do with the topic of writing? Creativity thrives in a receptive environment. That’s why people attend writing retreats, write behind closed doors, or seek out other environments that are free from distractions.

Whether you want to connect with your muse, an agent, a publisher, or an audience, learning how to receive as much as you give will help you. The reason for this is that giving and receiving are a natural team. If you invest in only the giving side of this equation, you will end up feeling drained and uninspired.

Energy goes out when you give, help out, and do. Energy comes in when you receive, take in, absorb, listen, or observe to name only a few receptive states.

Here is a simple way to think about this: Activity = energy out.  Receptivity = energy in.

If you don’t know how to receive, you don’t get what every writer needs: those who can help you.

Your Best Friends

  • Creativity: Your relationship with your muse (inspiration, imagination, ideas, etc.)
  • Craft: Your relationship with your teachers (educators, other writers, articles, books, etc.)
  • Connections: Your relationship with the people who will bring what you have written to readers (agents, publishers, bloggers, other writers, etc.)

Every relationship is a two-way street. How you give to and receive from the ambassadors of these three important areas will help to determine your success as a writer.

Amanda Owen PresentationsI will write more about the link between writing and receptivity in a future blog post. In the meantime, if you are in Arizona or California, join me for my talk and workshop about writing. The first is for the Scottsdale Society of Women Writers on July 30, and the second is for the Fresh Intuition Women’s Book Luncheon talk and writing workshop in Los Gatos, California on September 14.

If you are unable to attend, you can learn more about the benefits of receiving here: The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve and Born to Receive: 7 Powerful Steps Women Can Take Today to Reclaim Their Half of the Universe. You can read reviews and access articles on my website.

My California Book Tour Trip

Book signing in Mountain View May 24 2014I am a fairly introverted person, but venturing out into the world to spread the word about the benefits of receiving opens me up and turns me into a semi-extrovert.

In late May, I gave three book signings in California and also visited with friends including a classmate from grade school (Hi Steve!), from 8th grade (Hi Judy!), a good friend from when I was in my twenties (Hi Stephanie!), friends from Arizona who are back in California (Hi Mary-Rose and Patrick!), and cousins and their family members (Hi Liz, Matt, Lynda, Jennie,  Jax, Dana, and Dawn!) and a neighbor of my grandma’s (Hi Doris!)

Here is a photo of cousin Dana, her wife Dawn, and me when I stopped at their place on my way from Mountain View to Carmel.

Dawn Dana and me

Here is beautiful Jennie and Jax.

Jennie and Jax

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The beautiful thing about talking about receiving, practicing receiving, and  opening up to what the world and people have to give, is that you open up a whole universe that you would otherwise miss out on. Here is Carmel beach at sunset.

Carmel beach

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I spent time in San Francisco seeing friends and giving a talk and book signing at Books Inc.

Stephanie and Marcus         Me in San Francisco Marcus and Stephanie                                                             Me

Mary_Rose Hayes       the sounds of San Francisco

Mary-Rose                                              The sounds of San Francisco

Talk and book signing at Books Inc in San Francisco           Mia Me and Emery at Luminata Books in Monterey

Me at Books Inc.                             Mia, Emory, and me at Luminata Books in Monterey

One more photo of Carmel beach.

Carmel beach in May 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now back to the book I am currently writing about women and safety. I’ll have more about that in future newsletters. In the meantime, you can read about it here : How To Be Safe

If you would like information about my schedule of events, you can learn more here: Amanda Owen’s Events I’ll be in the Chicago area giving a one-day workshop for Infinity Foundation on July 26th, a talk  for the Scottsdale Society of Women Writers on July 30, and I’ll be in Los Gatos, California on September 14th giving a talk for the Fresh Intuition Women’s Luncheon which will be followed by a writing workshop.

I am looking forward to bringing you more information about my new book. Until later then … I hope to see some of you when I am back on the road.

Join me in Sedona for the Woman Arising Conference

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Join me in beautiful Sedona where I will be presenting a talk for the Woman Arising Conference. I will be joined by meditation expert and Hay House author Sarah McLean, internationally renowned intuitive Colette Baron-Reid, Rev. Paulettte Pipe, Barbara Litrell: former advertising executive with The New York Times and President and Group Publisher of Working Woman and Working Mother Magazines, and other inspiring women during the weekend of May 9 to 10

Enter receptive states to receive what people and the world have to give

typewriterWhen you enter receptive states and receive what people and the world have to give, you open up pathways you couldn’t see before, stimulate your imagination in ways that could not happen before, and have energy that was not previously available to you.

Years ago, I would never have dreamed that I would have two books about receiving out in the world. But once I strengthened my receive-muscles and balanced my activities with receptive states, I not only became healthier in mind, body, and spirit, I achieved the thing I wanted most: to become an author of two books about receiving: “The Power of Receiving” and “Born to Receive.”

Most of us are focused on trying to advance our goals solely by doing things, by our activities because this is what we have been taught.

In the two decades I have been studying and researching the benefits of receiving, I have found that 50% of all progress is found in the realms of receptive states, which includes relaxation. It seems counterintuitive because it doesn’t seem like you are really doing anything to advance your goals. Even so, when you get your foot off the metaphorical accelerator and look around, you discover a whole world teeming with data, information, insights, assistance, and inspiration.

In both of my books, I give plenty of examples of people just like you who began to receive as much as they gave, and experienced the miracles that occurred when their giving was balanced with receiving and their activities were balanced with receptive states (I call them receptivities.)

Now I am working on a new book and have new goals. Since I want to succeed, I spend as much time in receptive states as active states.

I encourage all of you to become familiar with what receptivity offers. Once you experience the benefits, you will never go back to a life that hinges solely on your activities. In fact, you will wonder why you ever thought that was a good idea or helpful to you.

I’ll finish up here with a quote from my first book:
When receiving is balanced with giving, you are not only healthier in mind, body, and spirit—you give yourself the key that unlocks the door to your goals, hopes and dreams.